"What is it Jeff?" I asked."I told you I would never lie to you, but I did," replied Jeff."I don't understand, when and why would you lie to me?" I wa... really confused and very nervous."I'm not going to Las Vegas. I will be gone for five months but I will be going back to the Middle East. They haven't told me where yet, but I'm sure it won't be the best area. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. When you mentioned that you would come and visit me I knew then, I had to tell you. Taai asakori tui amay amar prappo somman tuku dibi”ami matha nichu kore roilam…Maa ebar hese bollo….”achha thik ache…r jeno kokhono naa hoy….ne ebar baki kaaj tuku suru kor….r opekkha korars na amay….” bole paa duto ke ro mele dhorlo….ami khusi hoye amar akhamba baratake guder samne niye…haat diye maa er gud er mukhe rakhlam….maa bollo-“ektu aste dhokabi kintu…tor ta ja boro…!!! tor baba r tao eto boro chilo naa…onekdin okhane kichu dhokeni to….ektu batha korbe hoyto”ami-“thik ache ma…astei. Then It was January 1990, more than eight more years had passed, and they had tried to visit me just like before, but I had ignored their attempts. I wondered how they were dealing with that.I had gotten letters, too, announcing that they were coming each time. I never answered any of them. None of the letters had mentioned my lack of manhood or my HIV situation. I guess the man had not discovered that particular shortcoming, my shortcoming. I still had to figure that he eventually would, but. BUT I LOVE IT AND I'M NEEDING ME A NICE GUYYeah, I'm a nice guy but I still want to hurt you.I'm a nice guy, of course anyone can say that and it doesn't mean jack shit. I will say it as an absolute, because I know that's what I am, but of course it's always going to be subjective and up to the person who meets me to make their own determination of what they think of me.Recently, I've had to revist in my mind, why I would want to hurt someone I may get in a relationship with. For some, my.
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